Wedding Crew versus no crew – wedding party pros and cons

If you’re familiar with Hey Lovers, you’ll know we’re all about creating a wedding day that reflects the two of you and your love story with no rules, no right and no wrong. Just a celebration of love.

And if that means you want your besties smack bang by your side throughout the day, then bring on an I DO crew.

But if you don’t, that’s fine too. In this article we take a look at the pros and cons of having a wedding crew (aka wedding party).  

Before we move on, we’d just going to define what we mean by an “I DO crew”.

Hey Lovers defines this as any humans you choose to have by your side on your wedding day. Whilst your I DO crew might include bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girls and page boys, here at Hey Lovers, we choose to use more inclusive language. That’s why we define an I DO crew as any humans who support either of you on your wedding day, no matter how they identify.   

Now that we’ve got the lingo sorted, let’s take a look at the pros and cons.

The pros of an I DO crew

Extra hands and feet

Let’s face it, planning a wedding can be a whole lotta hard work. So having some of your favourite peeps at your side can help you spread the load.

Whether it’s picking up wedding day décor, planning all the details of your day or helping you plan pre and post wedding events, your wedding party certainly offer extra hands and feet. And that can be super useful when you’re planning your wedding.

Emotional support

Who doesn’t need a shoulder to cry on every now and again. Wedding planning is emotional business. Your besties will help you through it offering all the love, support and wise words of wisdom you need before you head towards that aisle.

As a side note, make sure that your I DO crew are super supportive peeps you trust and adore. Drama lovers don’t fit this brief – so appoint accordingly.

The very best I DO crew help you keep your feet on the ground throughout the planning process and on the wedding day itself. They are there to ride the highs and lows of your wedding planning journey.

This is a time in your life that you’ll never forget – there is no better time to have your best friends and confidantes along for the ride. Plus, who’s going to organise all of those pre wedding events, treat you like the stars of the show and organise rounds of shots at the bar??

A ridiculous amount of fun

With a positive attitude and easy going attitude you’re likely to have a HUGE amount of fun with your besties around you at this special time in your lives.  

There are so many opportunities throughout your wedding planning to spend time together. And of course on the day itself.

If travelling with your wolf pack is second nature to you and your partner, then go ahead and share all the feels with your besties.

Making life long promises to one another wouldn’t be the same without your friends parked right by your side.

Practical reasons for having a wedding party

There are some practical reasons to have someone by your side when you marry the love of your life too.

One of the main reasons is that you need a couple of witnesses to sign your wedding certificate. It makes perfect sense for those people to be members of your I DO crew.

Important note: Even if you don’t have an I DO crew, you can ask a parent, a friend or even the local gardener to sign as a witness. 

The cons of an I Do crew

OK, we’ve covered some of the obvious reasons to have an I DO crew. But as we always say here at Hey Lovers, there is no one way to celebrate.

Your wedding day should be absolutely all about you and your lover. If you picture your perfect day, without a wedding party, then don’t hesitate to plan your perfect day without an I DO crew.

Here’s some of the reasons you might opt to ditch the I DO Crew for your big day.

It’s expensive for them

Unless you are cashed up and paying for the whole shebang, the hard truth is that asking someone to be in your I DO crew costs them some cold hard cash.

Unless you plan to cover the cost for their outfits, grooming and attendance at pre and post wedding events, ask away. But be aware that some of your besties may simply not be able to afford to be by your side.

And do you know what? That’s AOK. Just as you shouldn’t go broke planning your wedding day, neither should those you ask to be part of your wedding day. Inviting them as a guest is still going to be a super special experience.

Of course, there are ways to minimise costs for your besties. For example, they could wear something they already own or skip the pre and post wedding events. If your budget doesn’t stretch far enough to cover their costs, maybe consider splitting the costs instead.

It’s expensive for you

If you have a large I DO crew, a number of your wedding costs will rise. For starters, you need to transport the wedding party. You’ll need to pamper them. And then thank them with gifts. Oh and don’t forget entertaining them throughout your wedding planning process.

If your wedding budget is tight, it’s important to consider all of these additional costs BEFORE you go ahead and ask a cast of thousands to be by your sides on your wedding day.  

Opinions galore

The larger your I DO crew, the more opinions you are likely to hear vocalised when you’re planning your wedding. Some of that advice is likely to be super helpful. But some of it is likely to unhelpful. It could even cause a little friction between you and your crew.

Avoid this by choosing those you trust implicitly.

Whether you have an I DO crew is a completely personal decision. There is no right answer and you should weigh up the pros and cons together before deciding whether you want a small crew, a large crew or no crew at all.

Throw tradition to the wind

Who said that you both needed to have an equal number of crew beside you? If you have three besties but your partner has only two, don’t feel compelled to “even up the numbers”.

The way you walk down the aisle, leave the ceremony and enter a wedding celebration vary so dramatically that it doesn’t make sense to “make do” with someone in your crew simply to ensure symmetry!

Tradition can be a beautiful thing. But it can also be a pain in the behind. Don’t let it stand in the way of you creating your day exactly as you want it. The love you declare to one another will be just as awesome whether you decide to crew it or not.

Don’t have an I DO Crew but still want someone to say a few words at your reception?

Anyone you ask to stand up and publicly declare how much they love you and your partner, will feel honoured. That honour is not diminished if you don’t have a wedding party.

Sure, some of your best friends might have a fierce fear of public speaking (maybe check this out before you ask!). But once they get over that, they’re going to love that you’ve asked them to be involved in your special day – whether you’re having a wedding party or not.

We’d love to hear whether you’ve flown solo as a couple or had a wedding party fit for royalty. Share your experience, including innovative ways you’ve included family and friends in your wedding day celebrations.

Need a hand pulling together your wedding day? Hey Lovers can help. Let’s talk.

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